Nothing to say

Trying to repair a habit
Maybe if I keep writing my sanity will stay
Write just about enough to chase my blues away
Breath held
Awaiting the plunge
Fly away on the bird
All that wants to be said
No words, just emotion
Mouth hanging open
Expectant of communication
Fingers tap faster rhythms
Times' gap reduces while
Thoughts disconnected and disordered
These words want to say something
Yet they find nothing to say
The effort to keep the shutters open
Fail me as they flutter briefly
End it here
Wrap it up
More tales another day

Your Fool

Hold my hand dear
As we dive into the abyss that I fear
Stay by my side as I walk through this corridor
Dark and daunting
The voices in the shadows are scary and haunting
My silence is the breath caught in my throat
So make me breathe
And when I let it all out
Please hold me in your arms and make me sleep
The worst is not half as bad when I'm with you
Shudders turn into deep breaths and all I am is just your silly fool

Define Me

Find me
Define my existence
Why am I here? Why am I not not here?
Define me
Who or what am I? Is purpose a dream?
Is the spotlight mine to dance in?
The stage to be watched from afar?
A ghost remote changes the channels
Changes come so fast
To find me again
To lose myself all over
Define me
Just chameleon changing colors with the scene
No shape
No box
Thoughts outside the box
Just images from the mind that flash
Forgetting me
Hard disk rewrite
Define me
Redefine me
I am me
I am not me
Nothing's gonna change my world
And everything will change my world
Neither rhyme nor rant
This time I can't
Define my Undefined me

Trapped

Feeling trapped inside these walls
Feeling not like myself at all
It's all a joke that's made too soon
Can't find in me a dance or a tune

A creature of pleasure and fun
Now brought under the baking sun
No outlet to bleed out into
Just swollen with the thoughts of a fool

As a result I feel a lot less me
Wings tied as long as I'm not free
So please don't expect me to smile
Not now when not much is mine

Your eyes they often see straight through
Narrating what my mind does do
But I'm no fun now, not today
I'm done with this one anyway

Bulletproof

Sometimes I wish that I were bulletproof
I would feel a little less and not take it to the chest
I could use the sanctuary of an exoskeleton
No merit in announcing my presence, makes no sense
I wish I knew where to draw the line
To what goes outside and what stays within mind
What of the wall that I once built around
Don't let anybody in, let even less of me out
Sometimes I wish I could raise my threshold
Emotion working harder, harder to get to my soul