Going Back

This hunger is so very strange
Like my soul hasn't fed in so many days
All the moments that have led
To this time and to this place

Can't parade my wood and steel string
All the notes in my head that do not sing
Bring me back to the stage
I need to get out and do my thing

I have to shake my head when it contains you
Though you never reached out, the thoughts continue
Is my silence a result of my ego?
All I have is my solitary point of view

Right now I have neither this nor that
All out of love, like a tree with no sap
Maybe that's why I am so hungry these days
Gotta feed my soul, gotta head back

(c) Rahul Chidambaran 

Effortless

Every day is another step 
Finding peace within myself
For though it hurts to think of you
Of all that we'd never do
Reality decides to be inaccurate
Trying to get me to be irate
Leaving the dream of you 
Somehow I feel like nothing's true
Every day is another step forward
Save for the need to step backward

(c) Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Debris

I don't understand
Though you had let go of my hand
I had hoped that by letting go
That eventually your love would show
Though now I realize
That I was waiting for our demise
You ran out of love
And I suffer in your drought

The questions are a plague
My self-worth turns vague
I feel inadequate
It's a lie to say that I'm great
Trying to hang on to me
Though at the moment I'm just debris
It hurts that you didn't try
You didn't feel me when I cried

All of our dreams
They now seem to me unclean
Pictures painted black
It hurts most to just look back
I don't fully understand
Why you let go of my hand
I too was alone
And now I'm turning into stone

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Patchwork Heart

I've done it again 
Put my heart on the slab
Butcher knife in hand 
I didn't think that I could 
Though now I know that I can 
I clean my dirty lenses
A futile effort 
Because perhaps they're broken
And that's why I have no foresight
It doesn't matter though at the end
I'm just a silly man 
My heart I've failed to defend
Now it begins 
Stitching back together my patchwork heart
Soon it will be time again 
To put my heart on the slab
Butcher knife in someone else's hand

(c) Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Heart In The Well

Found my heart at the bottom of a well
So I sent down a pail to fetch it
All in vain, for the pail was broken
Hole punched through
And my heart fell back in
Sinking into the depths

Many times I have tried
To climb down inside
But it got deeper as I cried
My tears filled the well
I'd climb back out a shell
So at the bottom my heart did dwell

I need a little help
Someone to hold the rope
Help me descend into the deep dark well
So I may bring my heart to the surface
That I may be loved once again

(c) Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Master Of None

Done it all
But never enough
Life's at a crawl
Around the edges I'm rough

From selling phones
To cooking food
I've swept floors
And reported the news

Worked at Amazon
Did a stint at Tesco
My education's gone
Many times I've let go

From microbiology to sound
I might have had some fun
But in the end I only found
That I am Master Of None

(C) Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Autumn Romance

Leaves that drift to the ground
Over fall, turning red, yellow and brown
Veils that part to show your face
Each day basking in your embrace

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

House of Cards

A relationship is like a house of cards
It is hard to tell who supports whom
Like her head resting on his shoulder
And his head resting on her head
If she is his strength, how is he her pillar?
Scientists would solve the energy crisis if they could work out those figures
But then there comes a time or a few, if you're lucky
And from the delicate balance of card supporting card
One of you becomes a wall
A rock strong enough to take it all
An immovable mountain standing resolute to the earthquakes
Biding time until you both can say "piece of cake"
Until finally when the dust settles
And with the air clear, you sift through the rubble
Find each other at the end of the day
Build your house of cards once again

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Missing Happiness

It is a strange thing to feel happy

Something beyond the high of a drug

A different planet than the mirth of a drunk

Immeasurable like the idea of a god 

Leaving you to sit there and nod

While the waves barely tickle your toes

You miss happiness

Not entirely but almost unlike missing a person

Like falling in love with the shadow of someone 

You never really miss being happy, just the idea of it

Like a joke heard more than once becomes less funny on each retelling

You're not sure if happiness is just not as happy as it used to be 

Or is it just me, you ask 

Part of you wants to turn around and run back

Back to where it was always happy 

Back to when sadness was just an empty pack of cigarettes

And happiness was finding that one last smoke

Back when sadness was not knowing what to eat 

And happiness was good old biryani 

And so you miss happiness 

An idea of feeling that poets like me fail to describe 

Even if you bottle it, you wouldn't like it

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Teacher

They say those who can't do, teach

But those who can teach should

For it is not enough to just read out loud 

Use this stage to do some good 

Yet we are mostly treated to glorified human textbooks 

Making school the same place they hated

The love and the passion mostly lost 

The magic of the lessons surely ill fated

As the world spins out of control 

Weather turning pages on human history

The need for bright young minds rises

Invent ways to fix our ecology 

Education is for the privileged 

And school is for their growing minds

But what is the point of a ship without a compass 

Just victims of the education decline

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Vices and Explosions

Quitting my vices

Like one last goodbye 

Like one last kiss 

One more "I love you"

Something about it that is so attractive 

Even with all the warning signs 

Yet the obsession with feeling good 

With something that isn't 

From cigarettes to junk food 

It always crosses the mind that I shouldn't have 

It is as if danger sits quietly in my blind spot 

Sitting with the smile of evil patience

The kind that accompanies slow death 

My determination to stand resolute

In the face of the hard slap that comes in slow motion 

Even though I know I can move and duck this at any time 

But instead of getting up and walking away I sit right there 

Sitting across from death on the other couch staring back 

As if willing him to get to me sooner 

Leap across the room and sink his teeth into my neck 

Only pausing to say "you had your chance"

Death doesn't flinch however 

In his slow, yet finite evil patience 

Choosing instead to see if I have the will to get away

Get up off my couch and walk away 

No last goodbyes to my vices 

Not pulled back for one more deathly kiss

Instead, set it alight and walk away 

Without looking back

Because cool guys don't look at explosions

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Keep Calm

Take my breath away
I don't want it back
In your eyes hold me sway
Until the day I fade to black
Once again I see dreams
Of special days and more
Reign in my hope-steed
Dreams that I adore
Calm down the heart's flutter
Fireworks in my brain
There are words I dare not utter
Oh how I must restrain

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Book Worms

I opened a book
Out came the worms
But I didn't mind
For they were my friends within the words
Wrapped up in their blanket
Keeping me warm with their stories
The worms they came out
Like from an apple core
Boring into my mind
Leaving their homes behind
Making their stories mine
Drilling deeper and deeper into my soul
Trying to fill my heart and its holes
And then in the mirror I see
I'm the book I meant to read
That my book is a mere reflection of who I meet
Every book I've read
Every moment I dread
Every word I've said
And all those I haven't
Just worms that burrow into the book of me
Footnotes upon footnotes
A human journal with the pages faded and fading
Open my book and the worms come out
Like from the core of the rotten apple
Do you read me like I never have
Let these worms into your hands
They feed out of you
As you feed out of them
Please stay just another page
Close my book at the end

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

The Ladder of Hope

By now I should have figured it out
Who am I and what am I all about?
I'm not anything by definition
A stack of many grand delusions
But I should have had something by now
A job I know and some luxuries allowed
Instead I feel like the last kid writing a test
Struggling to get through, his worst at its best
And if it wasn't enough to feel this dumb
My machine is faulty and I'm feeling numb
Finding irony in that numbness can be felt
Trying to laugh, hoping my fears melt
What of hope and all that it never brings?
Just a ladder leaning against nothing
Yet the fool that I am continues to hope
Even as I fumble on the slippery slope
I am ever the wounded optimist
Slowly infected by the pessimist
Yet I find no point in all of me
Write as I do, poems are all they'll ever be

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

The Ragged Skull

Short on height but tall on style
Spitting words that go for miles
Brother of mine, partner in rhyme
You've gone now, at your time
I've got this groove you gotta hear
Bob our heads, drink our beers
Laugh at all the silly jokes
Seeing dreams and getting stoked
While I am sad that you're gone
It's teaching me that I gotta stay strong
They say "it's just life you know"
I just hate to see you go
The last thing I remember though
We said "I'm gonna miss you bro"
This one's for you to remember by
These words are yours to never die
There will never be another one
Never another Ragged Skull

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Space

Lost in my mind
Talk to me love
Would you be so kind
I'm not there
I've never been here
Wish I didn't care

With all this room
There's no space for me
My mind's a tomb
For bad memories

It's not the same
I hear no words
All this change
Fight back tears
I'm all alone
I have my fears

It doesn't matter
It's only me
Continue to shatter
It's all for you
Even in your silence
I love you

Limbo

Discomfort and discontent
In the darker corners of my gray cells
All the fears and follies
My life refuses to ever make sense
I'd open up and say it loud
But for the fear of talking to myself
I'm not here or even there
Just in limbo if anyone can tell

Away in mind you have been
Lost to the air that crushes in
Left to the end of the night
Your return would be a welcome sight
Don't you read me now
Even I don't know me somehow
As I feel at arms length
Reach out my dear, bring me in

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

My Problem

I can see that I'm rebellious
Though I'm no good for myself
Feeling the craving of my vices
Fear of falling in the crisis

All my problems are just mine
Small or big, evil or benign
Trying to not be an extreme
I'm not the me I'd foreseen

Give me new ones before the old
I can't face them and be bold
Losing me on the way to Eden
I've got no soul in this dead end

These problems are mine alone
Just type them out to later ignore
Sheeple in the rat race to bide my time
Turn into a wolf when it's just right

Concede

Disappear for a moment or longer
Lose myself to find me once again
But I can't fly over the ocean yonder
So I'm back in my circular end

Struggle to find my space to breathe
No room to stretch my wings in here
And so my freedom I must concede
I'd say I knew it but I'm no seer

On days like this it all seems pointless
Can't see my walls and not feel sick
I'm not asking for any kind of excess
But I can't help but feel claustrophobic

As usual I feel again out of my depth
It's been a while since I've had my fun
Feels like all the dreams that I kept
Are staring down the barrel of a gun

Not Paradise

Walk into the park
Sitting on the slopes
Light up in the dark
Just another smoke

An alien in the land
Lost my way home
I'm not the same man
Hollow bag of bones

Easy to paint me
Fill up my guilt
My flaws I can see
Buried to the hilt

Still far I must travel
The road hot and humid
I'm just shoveling gravel
Until I find your bed 

At Sea

Keep it locked and inside

But if I can't breathe I'll die

I may sometimes exaggerate

It's all passion I dissipate

Throwing these words around

Beacons of me to be found

I refuse complete silence

Coming out blaring sirens

Write it out over here

Feelings nobody wants to hear

No ones cup of tea

Too much of all of me

Still though a work in progress

For my wicked no rest

There is no need to read

These thoughts may mislead

But it's all me you see

It is how I feel at sea

Six Months Clean

Six months in
Breathing cleaner within
Half a year down
Since your heart I found
No mystery to me
That it is you I want to see

Spread your wings
While I settle my things
Not for your will
But for myself alone still

On another trip
My mind continuous skip
Not in paradise
Just trying to make nice

Disconnect

Avoid the drink
Don't want to slip
Trying to think
About what is hip
The air isn't clear
Just dust and muck
Sometimes I fear
I might get us stuck
Roam on my own
Walking digital streets
Don't feel at home
It's too bittersweet
Ignorance no bliss
Biding my time
Need a real kiss
More than the mime
Work home work home
Days on repeat
More like a drone
Not much to see
I aim to please
Breathe in sighs
Feeling my disease
Lows and highs
Out on my boat
Forecasting disconnect
Fill the moat
Exit stage left

Paint This

Swimming underneath her hair

The beautiful mind that I love

The one that saves me from myself

The one that sees me at heart

For my life given unto her

Slip away and across the ether

Emotion to fill the infinite universe

Hold me close for better or worse

Find me deep in my head and hers

Renewable and unlimited resource

When eyes meet, to the skin that will touch

And the lips that seal our world as such

I may once more be found to exist

I may find her mind harder yet to resist

Nothing to say

Trying to repair a habit
Maybe if I keep writing my sanity will stay
Write just about enough to chase my blues away
Breath held
Awaiting the plunge
Fly away on the bird
All that wants to be said
No words, just emotion
Mouth hanging open
Expectant of communication
Fingers tap faster rhythms
Times' gap reduces while
Thoughts disconnected and disordered
These words want to say something
Yet they find nothing to say
The effort to keep the shutters open
Fail me as they flutter briefly
End it here
Wrap it up
More tales another day

Your Fool

Hold my hand dear
As we dive into the abyss that I fear
Stay by my side as I walk through this corridor
Dark and daunting
The voices in the shadows are scary and haunting
My silence is the breath caught in my throat
So make me breathe
And when I let it all out
Please hold me in your arms and make me sleep
The worst is not half as bad when I'm with you
Shudders turn into deep breaths and all I am is just your silly fool

Define Me

Find me
Define my existence
Why am I here? Why am I not not here?
Define me
Who or what am I? Is purpose a dream?
Is the spotlight mine to dance in?
The stage to be watched from afar?
A ghost remote changes the channels
Changes come so fast
To find me again
To lose myself all over
Define me
Just chameleon changing colors with the scene
No shape
No box
Thoughts outside the box
Just images from the mind that flash
Forgetting me
Hard disk rewrite
Define me
Redefine me
I am me
I am not me
Nothing's gonna change my world
And everything will change my world
Neither rhyme nor rant
This time I can't
Define my Undefined me

Trapped

Feeling trapped inside these walls
Feeling not like myself at all
It's all a joke that's made too soon
Can't find in me a dance or a tune

A creature of pleasure and fun
Now brought under the baking sun
No outlet to bleed out into
Just swollen with the thoughts of a fool

As a result I feel a lot less me
Wings tied as long as I'm not free
So please don't expect me to smile
Not now when not much is mine

Your eyes they often see straight through
Narrating what my mind does do
But I'm no fun now, not today
I'm done with this one anyway

Bulletproof

Sometimes I wish that I were bulletproof
I would feel a little less and not take it to the chest
I could use the sanctuary of an exoskeleton
No merit in announcing my presence, makes no sense
I wish I knew where to draw the line
To what goes outside and what stays within mind
What of the wall that I once built around
Don't let anybody in, let even less of me out
Sometimes I wish I could raise my threshold
Emotion working harder, harder to get to my soul

Poem in Three

If I can write this in five
My mind's a bee hive
If I write this in four
I will be on the floor
If I write this in three
I am such a busy bee
If I write this in two
No it wouldn't do

The Thrill Is Gone

The thrill is gone
The legend remains
King played it right
Got us all playing that way

Hold my hand now
I can be a child
Come to me darling
Need you to hold me tight

This day ends empty
Weekends usually do
I know that you love me
Darling I love you too

I dream of happiness
When you come here
I need you now babe
Need you to quell my fears 

Bad Days

Some days are tougher than the others
Those days when it all comes down
When it becomes too heavy to hold up
Too painful to hold back the tears
Times when patience drags like an anchor
Time moves slowly and keeping busy is the only solution
A precarious balance to maintain
Between falling into the depths of my darkness
Or burning out like fingers too close to the flame
I will sit this out for as long as it takes
Though I may need to sit down once in awhile
Acknowledging within my chest the stagnant sigh
Just to tell you that this feels terrible
And it's okay to say I do

Nothing to Hide

Sometimes it feels like all I am is a collection of references
Both popular and obscure
Comic jabs and spikes of laughter distract with their camouflage
Hiding from almost all, the true state of turmoil and unrest within
Except from the one who bothered to open the book and read
The art of hiding isn't perfected around you
Where I hide in plain sight is exactly where you see me, in plain sight
As true as I see you, your face a mirror of your state of mind
A terrible liar you are to me, sometimes it is too easy
There is no reason to hide of course
Physically and mentally we lie naked in front of each other
Nothing to hide and nothing to fear
Let us stay forever here

Incomplete

Wanting to cry is like wanting to throw up
Nobody wants to but we all feel better for it afterwards
There is also nothing worse than the nausea of tears
Feeling my face preparing for the waterfall, though not granted such relief
The reason for the emotion being of course that the physical does not match the mental state of me
My mind sees me holding you, hugging you and basking in your warmth
My skin feels empty and cold and nothing at all and this is in dissonance with me
When I close my eyes I am kissing you, licking you, biting you, tasting you
But my lips remain dry and even the sweetest food tastes bland instead
A thousand times I have imagined the smell of your hair, your skin and you
The air instead is acidic and pungent and even sweet fragrances leave me without opinion
This is why I want to cry
Because though I am with you, I am completely without you
The tears sit behind a dam, creating a sense of nausea, as if to further my dissonance with myself
Where my mind is crying but my body refuses to comply
The onion ninjas spite me by not coming to my rescue
I am where you aren't and I feel like the store sign with one letter missing that never gets fixed
Incomplete

Soul Suicide

These words are like knives and they cut into my sides and I am barely sleeping these nights
While I wouldn't suicide, it's a wonder how many times I've slit these wrists from the inside and how often I've hung myself on my own ropes in the hope that I cease to exist
For it's all in the mind and off late I haven't been the smiling kind
I wish that someone could show me the light but even then to walk into it I may not have the might

Goals

Write a book, make a song
Make it short, make it long
Get fit now, live my life
Get fit now, love a wife

This is one, this is short
Fill the moat, leave the fort
If not great, then not best
Time to win, at this test

Be self proud, make it loud
Not the crowd, no dark cloud
Pick me up, keep me there
Oh my muse, you're my flair

Yes I'm game, yes I'm lame
I'm not tame, I'm not sane
This is done, it's been fun
You're the sun, you're the one

Skin on Skin

Bodies surround
Skin on Skin
Where my sweat ends and yours begins is a mystery that doesn't bother me
Skin flushed with the blood that came rushing to meet my lips
Pulsing with the same anticipation of your lips against mine
If I haven't made you blush by now, I am not doing my job right
For I want to climb that mountain with you and ride the waves out to the shores of our afterglow
As with the end of every ride and water slide, I want to do it again
Skin on Skin, I want to be the explorer discovering new territory on you
Planting flags with kisses all over you and claiming the land as mine
I said once that I want to be the piece of cloth that drapes you
Now I say that I want to be within you, a part of you, one half of the same creature

Bodies surround
Skin on Skin
Where my sweat ends and yours begins
At best your landscape is a mystery
Skin on skin
I want to consume you within

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Funny Not Funny

Funny how things are usually not funny
Forever tiptoeing on the sidelines
Kicking the dirt as I look up once in a while and feel no less an outcast

Go play with the other kids they used to say
But how? Why would they want to do that?
Today as then, feeling an invisible barrier between me and the world
Still somewhat withdrawn, still somewhat in my shell
Still incomplete
Asking me what's wrong is like trying to use a lighter when the fuel has run out
Pointless and frustrating
The root of the problem is so deeply buried under the mountain that is every failure and every sadness and mythical unturned rocks that may or may not exist.
You could catch me when I fall but I may keep falling
Landing nowhere and everywhere at the same time, an implosion within an explosion
I cannot tell if I've been moving too fast or if everything else has while I stood still
Getting lost within the shoulda woulda coulda's, being left with my hands still empty
The desire to escape persists as does the burn up in ash and nicotine

Go play with the other kids they used to say
I never did really
For the times I've kicked a ball around, I couldn't tell you if I was running home or walking the plank
Then again, I couldn't tell you where home is

Funny how things are usually not funny
Forever tiptoeing on the threshold of nothing in particular
Kicking the dirt as I look up once in a while and feel no more at ease than I do at home

Implode

Fall into this heart of mine
Fall into what's not there
It is then that I implode
Fold into myself an untidy mess
Cave into myself and no debris escapes
For it remains inside, fermenting
Turning cancerous unless I dig it out
Excavate the remains of me and air out
Clean up and rebuild the home of me

But then one can never tell if it's hope
Stupid hope or an attachment to the dirt
Sometimes feeling terrible feels good
Good enough to want it more
Good enough to feel justified
Bad, but not enough to be not good
If these words painted a picture
It would be shapes in the dark
The edges light, but not right

Dyslexic Mime

Torturous it would seem

Live the way we do

Remedy this with what

Hold on my dear

Taking a vaccine hurts

So does not taking it later on

Pain is inevitable

But happiness is a possibility

Writing dischords of rhymes

Feeling like a dyslexic mime

Tomorrow brings rocky starts

Home is an idea I don't have

Unlucky the son of lucky

To be loved but never had

In the end there isn't one

As in the beginning none

Sticks and stones they

Broke my bones see

But words oh how they did me

Scabs of my mind still itching

Find it in his heart frantic

Future remains unsteady balance

Sunsets melt down into nothing

Dark exists without something

Hanging on gossamer thread
Breathing clean mission dread
This ones for me but you can see
I burn on the inside like tobacco indeed

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Story of My Life

Do you feel the feeling sinking
Smiles that we wear for each other
Masks to tears that breakthrough
Is this how life must be?
Like they say, story of my life
To find that the perfect hand to fit my heart is one that can't
Am I doomed to loose my love always?
My heart unable to keep it's treasures
Not you too. Not this again.
Yet I must stand on principle.
Stand upon beliefs and standards set by me
Goals learnt from stories and songs
A fairytale that has no place here
Here the good guy doesn't win
Here I am riding in the rain yet again
Riding cold and wet and alone yet
Remind me once again what it means to exist.
For some reason this could be just as bad
For some reason I could turn out worse

Back here again

Why do I write?

I forget sometimes. I write to let it out. These emotions that find their place on these digital pages.

And here they remain, etched in digital space, where I forget them. Why worry when it's out of my system? Right?

But then I forget. The feelings come back. The strongest ones always do. Like you. My strongest one yet.

Feeling like having my soul ripped apart from my body and put back in repeatedly.

Wondering why this skin feels alien and realizing that it is because it hasn't touched yours.

Then I have you. You who reads these words. Not once, but as many times as you do.

So as I am out there pulling out my hair and bordering on another bout of insanity, your hand appears on my shoulder.

Like a beacon that knows me and my words, you lead me back to what I once wrote.

Like a voice that reminds me, "hey, you've been here before"

I've been here before. I'll be back here again, until I feel alright, until I have the certainty of you in my arms. Till the day I fall into you falling into me, I'll be back here again. An exploding implosion.

Visibly invisible. Living dead. I'll be back here again.

© Rahul Chidambaran 2015

Indeed

To find me in this room
To finish the deed
On the day that I was born
Indeed, Indeed

To find my lungs more clean
Feeling how I breathe
On the day that I'm set free
Indeed, Indeed

To find myself writing
Writing once again
On the day that I was born
Fitting, Indeed

And if I find myself ever
Falling hearts again
That day that I am born
Again, Indeed

Pocket Friend

Breathing slowly as the violins play
Awaiting the call of the matter today
Music drives into highs and lows
Beats I play out with my toes

If I had you in my pocket or in my ear
I would not be alone with you so near
Saying things that make me smile
No one knowing the reason why

Now though you are far far away
As my muse you are still in my space
These words they bask in your sun
Though they just want to make your heart run

Questions

All these questions in your head
Your head in my hands I cradle
With these thoughts I fall to bed
Would you and I be fatal?

Ignorance is bliss until you breathe
Open our eyes to see what's real
Dreams are great but we must feed
Our brains need as much as our hearts feel

Little wounds that cut on your heart
Tears fall as if they seek to soothe
Inevitable we would have had to start
Lean on me, I won't be rude

Of all the questions there is the one
On a day when discomfort wins
Shoots like a bullet from a gun
Revealing your empty tins

Question to which you know the answer
The answer is forever eternal
I love you even if we sever
Your heart in my hands I cradle

Ineffective Words

What do I write?
How do I take these feelings and run them through my word machine only to find out that the machine is broken.
As if you are every breath that I have ever taken and the thought to which I awaken.
I force myself to find new words to describe this only because I feel like I haven't done it justice yet. And I don't want to.
I want to spend the rest of my days trying and then just almost failing to get these words perfect.
There are so many ways in which you are beautiful but I sometimes decide to feel a little good about myself and say that the most beautiful thing about you is how you see me. For you are my mirror in so many ways, reflecting and echoing me except that you take me by surprise in your reflection of me.
I also hope that when you see your reflection in me that it is accurate in its depiction of supernovas and swirling galaxies spinning around and coming to a stop as time froze for that millisecond and then continued. This is how I feel when I see you, like I might never see something that makes me this happy again. That I would do anything to be the piece of cloth that drapes you.
So as you hit the road this morning, ask me for a reading, as I tell you ineffectively how much I love you once again.

The Theory of Everything (almost)

Beyond the theory of relativity
Crossing the bonds of time
In your eyes I see family
In your eyes I see mine

This truth does not make sense
Orbit around this black hole
Not falling into the dense
Not falling into our home

To embrace and spin you around
I commit to my patience
Until under our feet the same ground
Until we can too dance

At a time when I loved my fort
Look how far we've come
Learning how to teleport
Yearning to share a sun

Song in the wind

In ways that I had given
Never expected the return
Then I heard her singin'
About how her heart burned

Heard it the first time
Then again a second
Before I wrote this rhyme
Third and fourth I gave in

Voice from far far away
A sound sent for me
Blame me not for how I sway
I know now how this feels

I know these words are read
They find eyes aquamarine
I know what the song meant
Your feelings are mine

Breathing Clean

Like the air that blows softly,

She is stronger than she knows

Yet soft she is and heavenly,

Fonder this heart grows

On a whim to her I promise

To heal myself on whole

Childish hope of her kiss

The heart is beating bold

On my path to breathing clean

I have failed already twice

I now have renewed my steam

With the sound of her voice

Like the water that flows around me

She calms my spirits down

Yet power she is deadly

I cannot let her down