Rant That Does Not Rhyme

I see where I went wrong
Looking from the outside in
The turning points being obvious
All for naught though!
I cannot rewind this
I cannot redo this
This is the end and that is all

Where do I go from here?
When do I feel okay?
Every waking inactive moment is torture
The mind does not stop thinking
It gets venomous and destructive
Seeking to poison and deteriorate only myself

All I am is cynicism
Pessimism with a side-dish of stupid hope
Starved optimism slow roasted on a stick
Looking down the dark staircase into hell
Choosing between walking down and being pushed
What does it matter anyways?
Either way, I am Fucked

Screw it.

Lost

Looking inside myself to set me free
Beyond the darkness brought on by the disease
Moments of joy rarer than ever
The veils of grey they do not sever

Lost at sea of mind and time
With a fool's hope of land to find

Broken Time Machines

Holding tightly our youth that threatens to slip away
We try to wish back the wish that did come true
Losing time in too many deep breaths
We gave in and grew up instead

We'd all fly to Neverland
Turn back the clock if we could
But there is no guarantee
If we'd be the Pan or the Hook

Ignorance is bliss they say
We've all been at that age
Yet it is hard to go back to the old you
Your inner child burnt by the bitter truth

Cold Silences

Lost in my mind
Most of most times
Just until I'm told we're alright

What is usually thrown in the ditch
Is what usually starts the itch
Then the teeth are bared
And no feelings spared

Breathe in, hold, breathe out
Close my eyes, drift through the clouds
Not sure where I am headed
Not alive, Not dead